Bakura's first haircut!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: You might say Bakura needs a haircut you might say he doesn't, but what happens when Marik gets nice sharp scissors to play with?


Bakura's first Haircut

To my friend/fan ((you know who you are)) who in every single review threats their life for me to post a Bakura's first. Lol.

_Dear paper, lines, hard thing on this book and holes on the paper,_

_It's been a week since pussy died and I've been here mourning in my room for the loss of my dear pet. I've made a nice little shrine for--I forgot what gender my dog was………anyway, in my closet. I pray to the doggy god every day that it is happy up there and there are no Hummers or any Marik doggies up there…as well as the germs. I don't need my doggy to die twice._

_Sincerely, _

_Bakura _

Bakura sighed and wiped some tears away.

"You're still crying because of that damn dog?" Ryou asked flossing his teeth.

"No I'm crying because I saw a TV show." Bakura said sarcastically.

"Ooooh." Ryou said.

"Dumbass yes I'm crying for my dog!" Bakura screamed.

"Ooooh." Ryou said again.

"Ugh. You wouldn't understand you've never loved anything!" Bakura cried.

"I've loved more shit than you have. I love my mommy and my daddy and my casserole—

"Which can burn in hell." Bakura mumbled.

"Which is where your dog is!" Ryou screamed.

"Whatever I don't care about the dog anymore it's passed." Bakura said lying in bed.

"Well, that was quick." Ryou said.

"Yea." Bakura said watching TV.

"Well…I'm going to sleep now Bakura." Ryou said closing the door behind him.

Bakura ran to the door and locked it. He placed his ear on the door and heard Ryou's footsteps followed by a slam to his door.

He ran back to bed pulling out a book.

"Oh my little puppy! I'm sorry I had to lie like that! Of course I'll never forget you!" Bakura cried.

"Aha! You liar!" Ryou screamed banging on the door.

"Fuck off Ryou!" Bakura screamed.

"Or what you'll have a hummer run me over like your doggy?" Ryou laughed.

Bakura sniffed. "Meanie."

It got quiet after that and Bakura lay sleeping in his bed when…an unexpected—actually it's pretty expected— visitor came into Bakura's room.

Marik "slithered" on the floor like a snake to the foot of Bakura's bed.

"Now…fly my little germs…fly. He is asleep do your best. I mean worse. I mean…best/worse. Um…the good one yea." Marik said pouring his germs on Bakura's bed.

"Ah! We have taken root! We…the Marik German germs of Marik's sector A Marik's small cranium have landed on…the prey…Bakura………..what's his last name?" The Chief German germ said.

"Isn't it Ryou?" Another germ asked.

"Is it? But isn't that, that other boys name?" The chief German germ asked.

"Um…yea." The germ said.

"So it's Bakura Ryou, Ryou Bakura. Well, that's pretty fucked up. Who came up with that little concoction? Pretty gay if you ask me. Bakura Ryou…Ryou Bakura how stupid can they be?" The chief germ said.

"Wait…maybe Bakura is his last name and Yami is his first name!" The germ said.

"So then it's Yami Bakura Ryou? That's even worse!" The chief germ said.

Nooo! It's Yami Bakura." The germ said.

"So they call him by his last name." The Chief germ said.

"Yes." The germ said.

"That's gay. Why don't they call him Yami then?" The chief German germ asked.

"Because hello! Yami Marik and Yami Yugi a-duh." The germ said.

"You seem too know a lot where do you get your information?" The chief germ asked.

"I work for the MGGB." The germ said.

The germ looked at him strangely."

"Um not too be a bother, but we totally got off the real mission here." Another germ said.

"You are a bother and thank you." The chief germ said blowing him up after.

The germs successfully managed to FINALLY get inside the body thinking their mission was over.

They were about to take over the brain when Bakura rolled over and some germs fell in acid and the mission began getting corrupted.

"No! I've traveled too far!" The chief germ said triggering something in Bakura's head.

Bakura sat up and killed all the germs.

"Fuck!" A germ screamed before dying.

"What a nightmare!" Bakura screamed. "There was lot's of cursing in my nightmares! …I'm used to that."

Meanwhile at Marik's house…

"To become a hair stylist you need plenty of rocket science." The lady said.

"Oh I've got that and if I don't…I'll order it off the internet." Marik said.

"Ishizu!" Marik screamed.

"What?" She asked.

"Do we have rocket science?" Marik asked.

"No…" She said confused.

"To the internet!" Marik said running to his computer.

He stood there silently looking at the computer.

_This is the computer…right?_ He asked himself looking at the washing machine.

"This can't be it." He said scratching his head.

He looked at the dryer.

"Ah, the computer." He said smiling and sitting in front of it watching the clothes dry.

A few minutes later Yami Marik came in.

"Marik…what are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm googling." He said pressing the buttons on the dryer. "We have super speed Internet and check this out I can make it go slow too." He added slowing it down.

"I'm not gonna even ask." Yami Marik said pushing Marik out of the way and opening the dryer.

"Fuck Yami! You brokeded it!" Marik screamed.

Yami Marik stood speechless reaching for his clothes in the dryer. He gave a shuddering gasp when he took his cape out.

"Learn how to dry your clothes Yami." Marik said grabbing it and wearing it as a bandana now.

Yami Marik cried at the loss of his only cape. "I killed Yugi with that cape!" He cried.

"You wish you killed me bitch. I'm here forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever—" Yugi continued.

"Ishizu, Yami brokedededed the computer." Marik said.

"No he didn't I was just on it." Ishizu said.

"Nah-uh! I was googling." Marik said.

"No…you weren't." Ishizu said.

"Then I was yahooing." Marik corrected himself. "Hahaha. Yahooing."

"No…."

"Fine damn MSNing" Marik screamed angrily.

"You were watching the dryer." Ishizu said.

"We have a dryer?" Marik asked.

Ishizu slapped her forehead. "I wonder…what you would've be like if mom didn't drop you so much."

"I wonder about them too. All nice and cuddly." Marik said.

"I'll…take you to the computer." She said taking him. "Why do you want to use it?" She asked.

"I need rocket science to be a hair stylist." Marik said.

"No you don't. That's easy shit. Grab a scissor and cut hair. No brainer…should be simple for you." Ishizu laughed at her own joke.

Marik joined in the laughing. "Good one sis. You dissed yourself!" He said laughing and snorting.

Ishizu laughed nervously.

"So you type rocket science and give me everything!" Marik said.

Ishizu went to Microsoft word and typed in "Rocket science."

"There's your rocket science." She said watching it print.

"Oooh this is the best part!" Marik said watching the printer.

"I wonder how it gets on the paper." He wondered watching it closely.

"It's out! It's out! It's out! It's really out I can't believe it! I thought it wouldn't make it! It's finally out!" Marik cheered when the paper came out the printer.

"Yea Marik…it's out. Come it's time for your medication." Ishizu said.

"Nah-uh sister I'm a certified rocket science thing now. I need no medication. I'm off the cut hair." Marik said holding out a blank white paper that said rocket science.

"You mean rocket scientist." Ishizu said.

"Don't correct me sister I am right. Rocket science is I!" He said walking out.

He grabbed some extra pointy scissors from the drawer and searched for a victim.

His Yami was mourning over the loss of his cape to notice Marik behind him.

"Hey Yami! I'm a rocket science." Marik said happily snipping at his hair.

"That's nice, but I'm never getting my cape back." He sniffed.

"Ooooh! You want to see what I can do!" Marik asked sitting next to his Yami holding some of his hair and grabbing the cape.

Yami Marik watched.

Marik snipped at the cape and made little doll figurines with it leaving Yami Marik open mouthed.

"Tada!" He said happily. "That will be 15 dollars for the show and your haircut." Marik said.

"Haircut?" Yami Marik asked.

"Yea." Marik said showing him his hair.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-shizu! Get in here!" Yami Marik cried running to the bathroom.

"You owe me!" Marik screamed skipping to Bakura's house.

"Hello Bakura family!" He said when he arrived.

"Marik's got scissors hit the deck!" Ryou screamed flipping the couch and hiding.

"Nah-uh! These are tongs!" Marik said.

Ryou peeked over the couch. "Yep scissors…I believed him when he said tongs? I'm losing it."

"Yo Ryou guess what? I'm a certified Rocket science hair saloner!" Marik said showing him the paper.

"Yea Marik. You're brilliant." Ryou said sarcastically.

"Where's Bakura?" He asked.

"Right here." Bakura said sitting on another couch.

"Where?" Marik asked.

"Here!" Bakura screamed angrily.

"I can't find you." Marik said sitting on him.

He squirmed. "Ryou you're couch is yucky."

"Dude! Get off you're all over my area! Not to mention me!" Bakura screamed pushing him off.

Marik looked at Bakura. "Ooo someone's having a bad hair day." Marik said looking at Bakura's normally spiked up hair.

"What are you saying! My hair always looks bad!" Bakura asked angrily.

"Oooh burn." Ryou said laughing.

"Who got burned?" Marik asked.

……cricket……cricket…….

"Anyway!" Marik said walking over to Bakura. "Close your eyes." He said.

Bakura ACTUALLY closed his eyes and as a precaution put his hands on his area for protection just in case Marik got retarded….more retarded.

Marik snipped off Bakura's spikes and left two big bald splotches. Ryou gaped.

"A little hair spray," He said spraying spray glue. "Some…J-j-j-jell-o. I guess that's gel." He said putting green Jell-O in Bakura's hair. "There! Magnifique!"

He handed Bakura a mirror. He fainted.

Marik grabbed the mirror and looked in it. It broke.

"Ryou! Your mirrors brokedededededededededededed!" Marik screamed.

Ryou fanned Bakura and carried him over to a real hair salon.

"Wow! Look at all these certified rocket sciences." Marik said looking at pictures of females and males hair.

"Can you fix him?" Ryou asked.

"There is nothing we can't fix now let's see uh…why he have Jell-O and glue in his hair?" The man asked.

Ryou pointed at Marik. "He thinks he's a hair stylist." He whispered.

"Ahh, a dreamer. Should work on Barbie's not real people." The man said cutting Bakura's hair into a mushroom cut.

"Ahh! I look like a 'shroom!" Bakura cried.

"It's the whole point." The stylist said.

"I want my hair back!" Bakura cried. "Where's Marik!" He said angrily.

"Heh, hey. I'm one of you guys. Check it out." Marik said showing them his blank paper that said rocket science.

"Yea…." The lady said walking away.

Back at Bakura's house….

"So you have a mushroom cut. No big you look like a little kid it's fine." Ryou said trying hard not to laugh.

"Really?" Bakura asked looking in a mirror.

"Ye-ye-yea." Ryou stuttered.

Bakura put the mirror down revealing his face.

Ryou started tearing and couldn't hold back laughing.

"You look like a nerd!" Ryou laughed hysterically pointing.

Bakura sighed.

And thus the end of Bakura's first hair cut. Totally random. Lol ) Hope you like more to come too. Sorry I took long.


End file.
